Today has been a respite, a respose from the inanity of semester’s end. After a late breakfast, I decided to go outside and enjoy the glory-fall. I walked out past the parking lot and sat on a big rock and gazed across the field in front of the school. It was a beautiful moment—gazing and reflecting and praying. I couldn’t help but take it all in, and I was so thankful that my eyes are truly open. When your eyes are really open, you never want to miss a single moment, but take it all in because you become aware of the beauty surrounding you. Each moment is invaluable because it will never come back, and you may never have another one quite like it. It causes you to be thankful even for the hard moments because you can look back and see how it has shaped who you are in the present. So you really can be thankful in all things. Wow.

At some length of sitting and gazing, I decided to go for a walk on a nearby trail. Eventually, I came to this sight:

Art in the wilderness

Look familiar? It should if you remember this post at the beginning summer. The one difference is that it’s facing the opposite direction. At some point since I took the last picture, the pole has been turned around so that the text is facing the other way. It’s symbolic. It points to the fact that I am now on the other side of summer—on the other side of those particular hardships and circumstances. It points to the fact that God has covered me through difficulty and oppression and uncertainty and has sustained, strengthened, and empowered me to live abundantly. It demonstrates the outworking of God’s glory in my life. It fills me with purpose for the present and hope for the future. Wow.

To conclude this post, here’s a new poem:

Patterns

Here and there, occasionally,
I have a thought begin to spread
And germinate through what I’ve said,
The event seems random at best.

Here and there, occasionally,
I have a word to kindly share,
And sharing, I myself do bare
My heart and everything I have.

Here and there, occasionally,
I open what is firmly shut,
Exposing the infected cut
Of solitude’s egregious blade.

Here and there, occasionally,
I realize amid my pain,
The omni-present God would deign
To be near to my broken heart.

Here and there, occasionally,
I bow under a heavy load,
I find that I despise the road
I have unswervingly chosen.

Here and there, occasionally,
I falter for a wise critique,
The very wisdom that I seek
Would sooner be my undoing.

Here and there, occasionally,
I find offense at every turn,
The power of what I would learn
Is robbed of all efficacy.

Here and there, occasionally,
I pause to hear all heaven shout—
This is what life is all about—
And hope springs within me once more.

© 2011 David Andrew

I recently auditioned to play violin in my school’s chapel services, and I came away with some realizations that I simply must share with you!

1) I was reminded once again how insecure I really am and how much I crave acceptance from the people around me. The minute I walked on stage I immediately felt a surge of energy course through my veins although it wasn’t completely nervous energy like it has been before—it was more of an invigorating energy which was encouraging. I credit this in part to the fact that I have been given the opportunity to perform worship songs with The Way in front of several church congregations, but mainly I attribute this change to the spiritual growth I have been undergoing in learning to fix my eyes on Jesus.

2) In regards to acceptance, I found my eyes opened to the fact that I still have a long way to go in letting myself become fully accepted by my Father in Heaven and not by man. I still have a long way to go in keeping my eyes on Jesus after initially fixing them.

3) I believe that I am finally reaching closure and full healing from past hurts involving music worship teams at church! My first year at school here I didn’t audition for chapel music worship because I was still too bitter from my past hurts, but over the course of this last year, God has been teaching me some hard lessons in humbling myself before Him. It was in that lowest place though, that I would find unspeakable joy. Now, after auditioning, I feel so carefree. I doesn’t really matter to me whether I am integrated into the team or not. I was true to myself. I redeemed the passions that God has given me. I honored Him by taking a chance and pursuing something that would fill me with life. I’m closer to Abba for it, and that’s all that really matters.