I’m not waiting for another opportunity. I am not waiting for a chance to make it big in life, strike it rich, or become famous. The truth is that I am famous to God. Being known and adored by God is the most elevated position in the universe. I’m already at the pinnacle of success, fame, and wealth. I am now free to pursue everything I do without a worry in the world because I’m not looking for personal gain, I’m looking to share the wealth.
Jesus Christ does not give me opportunities—He is my opportunity. He gives me permission to live abandoned to His care, to build healthy relationships simply because I enjoy it, to demonstrate to others that they’re worth my time because I am worth God’s time and now I have all the time in the world. I’m not worried about my next paycheck, finding a place to live, or having the right friends/network/connections. I’m motivated to find the people who don’t know who they are, the people lost in the negativity of the enemy, and share the abundant wealth of joy, fellowship, and provision in my life.
The truth about me is that God accepts me. I know this because I have joy. Since God accepts me, my main goal in relationships is to accept other people and demonstrate their value by listening to their stories, celebrating their victories, and plotting ways to bless them. I am looking for people to accept, offenses to forgive, and kindnesses to celebrate. This is who I am because Jesus Christ exists—there is no downside whatsoever!
To me, there’s something mysterious about the period of day we know as twilight. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the morning twilight or the evening twilight, because both represent hope to me. Something about having the sun below the horizon yet still radiating its light across the sky gives me assurance that there is still hope. It could be an analogy for how though I cannot see the sun, I can see evidences of its existence—kind of like Jesus’ illustration to Nicodemus about the Holy Spirit.
The evening twilight represents hope to me for the promise of nightfall and rest. The morning twilight represents hope to me for the promise of a new day and opportunity to actively pursue my passions. I don’t think I’d ever want to be stuck in twilight forever though. Stuck in the tension of a hope to come, yet not ready to be fulfilled. It would make my heart sick yearning for the coming of that hope. Yes, perhaps that’s why I’m enamored with the twilight right now. That’s my season of life: the tension of hope in a coming Savior, seeing His power at work in the world, yet not currently able to see His face.
Twilight is about trust: trust in the evening that morning will come, trust in the morning that rest will follow. In those precious few minutes of twilight, I learn again to hope. I learn again to trust that all my doing and all my resting has found fulfillment in Jesus. I learn to stay my mind on Christ and to expressly release control to Him over all of the situations and relationships that I cannot make right and look to Him for the restoration of all things. I learn to aspire to wonder at the marvelous power of God and expectantly wait for Him to show forth His goodness, His glory. In the twilight, my heart cries out to Jesus.
Looking on, keep looking on,
Expectantly await the dawn,
You who cling to hope may wait,
May yet your heart now satiate,
Oh do not cease from looking on!
Continue pressing on in hope
And its related isotope:
In joy, that is; may yours be full,
This is the substance of the tulle,
The fabric of the wedding veil,
Fastened quick with thankfulness,
The bride of Christ is thus arrayed,
The love of Christ therefore displayed
In one for whom He bled and died,
Whom Satan shall fore’er deride
Yet powerless fore’er remain,
The righteousness of God implied
That He should hold us in disdain,
We, in our Advocate, confide,
Sin, where is thy gruesome stain?
In all honesty, I haven’t had a lot on my mind lately. Over Thanksgiving break I’ve been house-sitting which has been a blessing and a curse, but mostly blessing. The hard part is being by myself, yet at the same time that is also the blessing—the silence is like an emotional/mental/spiritual detox. Yep, it’s just me and the dog I’m watching and frankly, I couldn’t ask for more.
Thanks to the tremendous amount of silence and stillness, I’ve been praying like nobody’s business (who else am I going to talk to?). I did spend some time with family on Thanksgiving Day, but I’ve mostly just been tending to the house and the dog and praying. I did venture out on Black Friday to a local coffee shop (there’s something about being in the company of strangers that’s oddly affirming of my humanity) and had a chance encounter with a friend I haven’t seen in months (though it felt like years). So really, nothing hugely fantastic has really happened over the last few days, but that’s ok: I’m learning to feel His pleasure in the little things.
I’ve still been recording my important thoughts as I have them although they have been much fewer as of late. I think I’m beginning to see a theme however. Much of the things that I ponder relate to ways that I can grow in genuineness but genuineness is never the point. That is, genuineness is a byproduct, not a goal. That’s it really. If I were to say that my main goal in life is to be genuine, then firstly, I wouldn’t be being honest with myself and secondly, I would have no idea what that would even look like. It just so happens though that when you live according to your convictions and humbly adapt to circumstances and ideas that you encounter, genuineness forms as a result of living unashamedly as yourself. As a Christian that’s only part of it though. Genuineness also comes from living unashamedly toward Christ. Something I’ve realized while I’ve been praying is that admission of weakness is not designed so that we would dwell on our needful state, but so that we would celebrate Christ’s power and life already at work in us. It’s the celebration of Christ in our lives that marks us as genuine Christians. Love, joy, peace, and righteousness in the Holy Spirit. I couldn’t ask for more.